ROOTED RENEGADE

Sometimes in our lives we feel this incredible void inside our chest. Like something is missing. As women, many of us feel this inherent need to be with someone who will fill this void, whether it be a spouse or just a partner. But it is a void deep inside our chests that never seem to get satisfied unless there is someone we get to go home to every night, or at least talk to every day about every little detail that weighs heavy on us or that brings us some sort of joy.

The problem is that many of us search and search and search, looking in wrong places trying to fill that void with whatever we can fill it with. Mistake after mistake. Regret after regret. The hole gets deeper and deeper. Some even go so far as to fill the void with work instead of men. They fill this tug of war waging inside themselves. Knowing that filling it with men won’t work because their faith tells them that is not what they should be doing. So they find other ways to compensate for the loss. The loss of relationship. The loss of childlessness. The loss that tends to swallow them each and every day. Swimming in a sea of forgetfulness.

They are not alone. Many of us who have walked the journey of Sex Trafficking and prostitution have felt the same way just on the opposite end of the spectrum. The void left by family who shunned us. The void left by wondering if the stain of crimson sin would ever leave us to feel good enough to be loved again and then could we ever have purity enough for another human being. Would there ever be a time in our lives where that deep need for human connect beyond friendship be filled with someone who wouldn’t hurt us? Would we be able to allow another man into our space without wanting to run in the opposite direction out of fear? Would the past rear it’s ugly head again in the midst of something beautiful?

Often times people think they can’t relate to a survivor because there are so. many differences. But God has called us to LOVE for a reason. We are not much different than the person sitting next to us. Just different life experiences only because of the shoes we had to walk in. But they are relatable if we allow the time to untie the shoes and sit barefoot with the person who needs us to do so. Sometimes it is not about the miles we have walked in our shoes, but the time spent outside them.

Jesus called us to have servant’s hearts, walk with His FEET…not his SHOES. He has called us to walk as He walked. 1 John 2:6 says this: “Whoever says he remains in Him out to walk was He walked”. Therefore, we should take heed to walk carefully with the feet of Jesus, remembering that when we suffer with voids deep in our chests, knowing something is missing in our lives, Jesus felt the same thing too. We are not alone. But what we are called too may just be greater than what we feel. There is a reason we walk alone sometimes in the physical. Our purpose is greater than what we experience in the flesh. That void in our chest, deep in our souls, is developing something beautiful in us….and we can teach each other, no matter how different to use our feet to walk like Jesus.

2 Timothy 3:10-12 says this: “But you have observed my doctrine, manner of life, purpose, faith, tolerance, love, patience, persecutions, and afflictions, which came to me at Antioch, Iconic, and Lystra – what persecutions I endured! But the Lord delivered me out of them all. Yes, and all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will suffer persecution.” (emphasis added mine).

Read that again dear sister or brother. Let those words soak in your soul and spirit. Let them penetrate your tender hearts. Timothy goes on in verses 16-17 to say this: “All Scripture is inspired by God and is profitable for teaching, reproof, for correction, and for instruction in righteousness, that man of God be complete, throughly equipped for every good work.”

Does that not set your hearts on fire for Christ and the missions He has called you to? I know that your hearts hurt sometimes when prayers go unanswered! When you truly feel something is missing from your lives and you feel He is withholding from you. But He alone knows better. The groom who calls his bride (the church) to himself. He alone knows better than we ever could about what we need, not what we want. There is a difference tender hearted. Our wants sometimes get in the way of God’s design and His will for our lives. He tells us what He is going to do and we get like Abraham and Sara and rush the process. In Genesis 18, Abraham was told of the promise of Sara having a son but they couldn’t wait on the promise to come to pass so they stepped into the waiting and got ahead of God. Don’t we do the same thing? Try to fill the void with what we think belongs there? We step into God’s promise and try to rush Him. We think we know better than God instead of resting in His presence. Resting in His promise. Resting in who we know Him to be based on what Timothy describes above in 2 Timothy 3:16-17 and understanding that the Scripture will do exactly what God said it will.

Just because we feel something missing in our lives, doesn’t mean that it really is. We must begin to TRUST in our ABBA. Jesus gave us an example to follow, not because He was boastful in His life. But because he walked with feet that were humble and had suffered greatly. He didn’t look at anyone and say your shoes are too big or small, so get away from me, we can’t relate. Nope! He sat at their table and broke bread with them. He washed the feet of some of the most notorious sinners. He was a humble servant (John 13:14-15 “If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. For I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done to you.”).

How beautiful it is that we can take an example like this and let Jesus fill a hole so deep in us with His love? Sometimes it isn’t really that something is missing in our lives. It is more about how much we have strayed from our relationship with Jesus. He is in our waiting. He is standing there with a cloth and a water bucket waiting to wash our feet. We just have to take off our shoes and let him.

How will you let Jesus reach into those tender places in your heart today?

Will you let Jesus wash your feet?

Let Him fill those empty spaces with His love today.

Songs: Praise Before My Breakthrough by Bryan & Katie Towalt and I’m Listening by Chris McClarney & Hollyn