ROOTED RENEGADE

There are days where all it seems like are dry parched lands with no stimuli other than random Facebook and Instgram posts. Looking at the glitz and glam of other people’s lives, wondering if the “reality” of what they are portraying on social media is really what their lives are like. The mundane of scrolling for thirty minutes before bed or on a lunch break to pass the time while trying to break the silence of an empty house turns into wishful thinking of what life could be like as someone else…maybe.

Sound familiar? Maybe? Somewhat?

Often this is how it goes when we are watering the cycle of thoughts that don’t align with God’s purpose and plan for our lives. The dreams we may have had as a child didn’t turn into the Prince Charming and Cinderella story with the big house, four perfect kids (maybe more or less kids – it’s your dream), and happy ending we dreamt of for years. Now we have the messy house, stay at home mom during a pandemic (that some hold onto, some see an end, and some are still trying to figure out what is really going on), trying to teach kids school, keep the mask on, take it off, wait now put it back on again, hold up – it didn’t matter anyway. Husband works long hours and don’t help much (maybe it’s the other way around), there’s the arguments over money and not having date nights after five or ten years of marriage. One kid is doing drugs, one is already having sex, one is a straight A student, and well the last one who knows because they never take their face out of the phone. And you, let’s not go there because you haven’t showered in three days (you only go to the grocery store anyway).

You might be the single mom (or dad) who is working a full time job, two or three kids, having to stay at home and be a remote worker because it was the only way to keep your job when the pandemic flipped the world upside down. Struggling with depression or anxiety and you are doing all you can to be present with your kids as they have struggled being virtual learners. You have tried to teach them schoolwork, be a present and active parent, while keeping up with a job that went virtual, but started to fall into a rut when you couldn’t be around other people for the last two years. You believe in God but not getting out and going to your church which shut down then had to shut their doors for good, you had no idea what to do. All you had your hope in seemed to fail and you didn’t understand how to explain that to your children who have been looking to you for answers and this time you felt you had none at all. People seemed to have failed you too. So you have slipped deeper in depression and are doing all you know to do to make ends meet and be the best parent you know how. No one has taught you any different. So you are striving every day just to do all you know to do.

Maybe you are the woman (or man) who is in an abusive relationship and you see no way out. You stay because everyone you have turned to doesn’t help. They tell you to stop making your abuser mad. They tell you to stay for the kids. They tell you it will get better. They tell you that the kids need both parents. So you believe it will get better. You keep on keeping on. You internalize all the shame, blame, and guilt into your mind and body for as long as it takes to survive. After all you have no where to turn, no where to run, and no one to help you. You feel alone and abandoned but you keep it together the best you can for your children, not understanding they are watching and learning how to keep it together too, from you. They see how to survive, they mimic the other parent too. Life keeps getting harder for you all and one day, it explodes leaving you as the bad guy because you didn’t just leave for them too. The world has enough problems then for you to add yours to the mix with wars, political battles, etc. At least that is what you tell yourself to make it each day. It’s not really the truth, but it helps you get by, for now.

Maybe you can relate. Maybe you know someone who can. Maybe at one point in your life this was you but it isn’t now. Maybe the memories are still there and you don’t know how to get rid of them. Whatever the case may be, something in your life is being watered by thoughts and actions. It is like planting seeds in a garden that only grows weeds that you keep trying to pull, but they won’t grow away because the roots are still left behind. Can I tell you friend that I know that story? I have watered those weeds not realizing I was watering them! I kept pulling and kept pulling only to watch them sprout all over again. Then I would look at my life and wonder why in the world I had this ugly garden in my life, full of hurt, pain, grief, depression, anxiety, and so much more, that just wasn’t going away. I was praying too. What I had to come to was this understanding that while my prayers were being heard, I had to put in some footwork. I couldn’t just sit there and expect these prayers to be answered while doing nothing. I had to start digging up the roots. I could pull those weeds all day long, but if I wasn’t getting to the root of why I had grief or depression then I certainly wasn’t going to stop having it. Right?

I had to start asking myself questions like: Where are these thoughts coming from? Why do I feel like crying when someone talks about a friend who passed away? Why is it that I get so anxious when people talk about certain topics? Why is that this or that? These were important questions that I had to start asking myself to begin to start digging up the roots in my life. Otherwise, they would have never come up.

What questions do you need to ask yourself? Where are you struggling the most right now? Is there an area that you seem to notice that you get more anxious than others? Why do you think you feel more depressed now than you might have before? Is that you don’t get out of the house enough? Why is that? What started it? Can you go back and look over the past year or two and see when things started to shift in your life? Sure, the pandemic shut some of our lives down, but it merely exposed things in our lives that needed shifting and actually shutting down. It exposed areas of our lives that the Lord was trying to uproot anyway. So now we must take a stance of taking the tools He has given us and removing the roots.

So it’s time to start identifying them. What are the roots that you have been watering? Where do you need to stop watering and start digging?

Take some time today and get alone with the Holy Spirit and process through what some of those roots are. He can handle that with you and help you dig them up for good!

James 1:19-21 tells us that the implanted Word can save our souls. Let the Word of God be implanted in your souls today so that the roots that have been deeply planted by wounds, circumstances, and trauma be uprooted and healed in the Name of Jesus! Let the Lord have the watering can! His living water will provide healing for your souls!

I pray that this blesses you and provides a fresh start for you today!

Faythe