I used to not think that pastoral coverings were that important. I came from a very religious church where the pastor always made me feel like I was this horrible person who was undeserving of God’s love. So I wasn’t too keen about being under him in any way.
But as I have gotten older and visited many different churches, I can now tell the people who are submitted to the leadership of their pastor and those who aren’t.
When we submit to pastoral leadership, we are telling God that we trust the shepherd He has put into place and agree to pray for the shepherd. To continue to be submitted as long as the Lord leads us.
Coming from someone who has been between churches for the past couple of years, this has not been easy for me. So as you read this, know that I am speaking to me as the Holy Spirit gives me revelation.
Truth is, many of us run from being under authority. Whether that is in the church or in our jobs or homes. It is especially hard for women who have been abused by men to submit to any male leadership.
Over the last couple of the months the Lord has been healing this area for me. I have internally refused to submit to leadership which came in external ways like criticism, gripping and complaining, etc. I wasn’t happy with things that were said, or ways that things were happening. And the sadest part of all, is that I didn’t realize I was doing it. It was a trauma response from the things I have been through. And a very unhealthy one.
One day the Lord told me I need to submit someone’s leadership and I was resistent. I came up with all these reasons why I didn’t want to and why I was justified in feeling that way. Then the Lord broke me. He showed me the reasons I was refusing to submit to Him by not submitting to this particular athority figure. It was like all the walls inside me cracked in half and I saw what I was doing to the Lord. I also saw how my refusal to submit to leadership was causing me to not fully submit to the Lord which truthfully breaks His heart.
It hurts God’s heart when we don’t submit to Him because it is like telling Him we don’t trust Him. And that hurts. Just like it hurts us when people don’t trust us, especially when we have not done anything to them. Can you imagine how God must feel? It makes me cry just to write this.
He assigned shepherds to watch over His sheep. Shepherds are responsible for covering the sheep and leading them in the right direction. Yes there are times when shepherds don’t do what they are supposed to. And God sees it. Ultimately they are responsible to God for how they lead.
And when we don’t submit to authority, we are also telling God that we don’t trust who He has appointed. When God appoints a shepherd He already knows everything that shepherd will do – the successes and the mistakes. So why wouldn’t we trust God, who knows everything anyway?
Because the wounds we carry over past hurts from authority figures gets in the way. They can speak louder than anything or anyone else. So we must deal with the wounds.
The Lord had to confront my refusal to submit to leadership in order to heal the wounds I still carried. And I had a choice to make when He did. I could ignore His confrontation or I could allow Him to do the work that needed to be done in me.
And this is the choice we all have. We can either allow the Lord to show us what is blocking our path, what wounds need to be healed, and the ways we refuse to submit to authority, including our pastors, or we can continue to run and find ourselves worn out, exhausted, and running around the same mountains again and again.
Friends, I can tell you that allowing the Lord to heal the wounds and confront the rebellious nature we walk in, will provide such a sweet freedom that we don’t know we need until we have it.
And once we have this freedom, we will start to see the shepherds God has placed in our lives differently.
I encourage you to sit with the Holy Spirit today and ask Him to confront anything in you that is stopping you from submitting to authority and subsequently Him. And allow the healing to take place in your hearts.
Faythe
ROOTED RENEGADE 
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